Returning Soon!

hello, hello. i'll update this weekend. i have a nice story to tell you - here's a teaser. =P




just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful new year. be safe.

talk soon!

Bye for Now.

still alive.
somewhat miserable, yet not bothered.
there are more important things to be thinking about right now.
enjoying time spent with the family during this holiday season.
just living my life right now - i'll deal with the consequences later.
i'll be back at the end of the month after christmas.

i hope everyone has a very lovely holiday.

love,
Audreena xx

Idiot.

i hit the 96 hour mark of fasting tonight. four days. i lost.. seven pounds? yeah, that's a positive.

the negative? super-fast heartbeat, being out of breath by doing a simple task such as walking up the stairs, zero energy, yet difficulty sleeping. also, i just discovered after all the times i've fasted, i can't laugh! it's just a silent breathing sound. the harder i laugh, the more difficult it is to breathe.

anyways, i decided i would break my fast so i wouldn't end up passing out at some point tomorrow. i made a nice salad with an egg - 100 calories.

but we're talking about Audreena, here. i couldn't just eat 100 calories! of course not!

so when my mom offered me some chocolate covered raisins (my weakness) i accepted. 200 calories.

i went upstairs and went into my drawer to find some pajamas.. there i found a king size hershey bar that my mom bought for me yesterday. i hid it and told her i ate it. of COURSE i had to eat that tonight - 370 calories !

now i'm up to 670 calories for the day. i suppose it's not that bad, but i was really aiming for low-carbohydrates today. it's the next best thing to fasting. 44 carbs in that hershey's bar alone. damn it.

at least today i found out that hershey's bars repulse me. i have a weird bloody-metallic taste in my mouth. at least i may of corrected my metabolism by eating so much after a fast. at least that chocolate bar is gone - i really should have destroyed it yesterday. i'm an idiot. i hope i don't gain it all back!

just in case, i'll fast again tomorrow. i'll ask my mom to go grocery shopping on friday so i can get some low-calorie stuff.

i made a weight-goal list a few weeks ago. i've missed my target for the last two weeks, but my weight today was my goal for this sunday. i'd really like to follow it, so i'll be where i want to be by the time i go to scotland in the summer !