ok, i've recovered from my mini-meltdown. unfortunately, that happens a lot. i think it was the Famous Grouse whiskey that made the impulsive decision of posting that previous update.
that night i ended up passing out on the sofa for a few hours. i woke myself up around 4 in the morning and made a pot of coffee. i went and took the SATs, surprisingly not hungover when i very well should have been. i actually didn't find them to be too hard - that cockiness may result in an awful score. (i better not jinx myself)
i'm trying to tell myself to deal with all of my problems - so many people have it worse than i do. to be completely honest, i've considered suicide a couple of times. i know that i'm too much of a coward to do it, but sometimes when i'm driving and feeling like my previous post, i think about what it would be like to drive into the nearest tree. it's sad, and i'm trying to fix that.
anyways, i'm sorry for that last post. i haven't felt that low in months. i shouldn't have published that. i'm sorry if i lately haven't been as positive as i advertise. "I'm A Downer and Life Sucks" would probably be a better title right now, lol.
and thank you, Rachael. i very much appreciate your feedback. =)
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You're very welcome and I'm glad you're all right. Sometimes intoxicating substances make us do things that are irrational, lord knows I've been there plenty of times...
ReplyDeleteI'm probably not the one who should be telling you this, because I've already tried to kill myself multiple times, but really, if you're feeling that way, please talk to someone. Whether it be a family member or a professional, just get the help if you need it. I've failed at suicide and I'm glad that I did... I've known others that haven't been as fortunate as I, and I've seen what it does to their friends and families. Trust me, no matter how bad it gets, it's not worth it in the end.