i've been such a sloth lately.
my mom reminded me this afternoon that i have a physical scheduled for friday. oh, how i wish she had told me sooner so i would have time to prepare.. i am anywhere between ten and twenty pounds heavier than last year.. i feel like my doctor will have a problem with that.
i hate to do it, but i need to fast for the next two days. i must get off my ass and work out more in the next two days than i have in the last two months. although i'll only lose a few pounds, it's a few closer to what i was last year..
hopefully, i can make it TWO DAYS. my willpower is absolute shit now.. i used to be able to go seven days without eating, and now i can barely make it to 24 hours. i just want things to go back to the way they used to be. although they're horribly destructive, i want to go back to my old habits. why? because i feel more at home. i never get depressed like i do now. my bedroom gets cleaned, books get read, homework gets done. i look better - less miserable.
sorry if you don't agree. i just want to return to the positive, loving, happy Audreena.
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I hope your physical goes well, Audreena! And I'm not going to say anything about your ED because I know you know the risks. I just want you to be happy and safe. If the doctor has anything negative to say about any weight gain, take it with a grain of salt. Their ideals are nearly impossible to live up to... *Hugs*
ReplyDelete+Rei+
It is so funny that you and me both want things to go back to how thongs used to be. I also used to be able to go days without een thinking about found. Now I'm 15 pounds heavier. I'm sure your physical will go well.
ReplyDeleteGood luck(: