jdshgusfhgsiufhdg. Depressed.

trying SO HARD to be positive right now. its not happening. everyone has their dark days, right?

right after sending my dad an email which he will receive in jail, i went on to prettythin. i saw a post where a girl was talking about how her husband is taking pills again - he lies to her, its ruining her marriage, etc. she was asking where to look for his stash.

so i replied with some of my life story, lol.

"my parents went through the same exact thing.

my dad was addicted to alcohol, oxycontin and oxycodone. he stole these drugs from the hospital where he worked. he got caught and now he's locked up because of it. he's missing my high school graduation, he missed my sister growing up, and we've pretty much been fatherless for 5 years now. we get to talk on the phone for 10 minutes once or twice a week, which means my sister and i have 5 minutes each. some relationship, huh? my mom's credit, family, and life were ruined because of his actions.

i hope your husband knows what he's facing if he continues. unfortunately, he is an addict. its not going to stop. you're just hurting yourself and your family giving him chance after chance, trust me. it's not easy to explain to your friends at 12 years old that your dad is in a federal prison. at 9 years old, its not easy to see your father passed out on the couch every night from taking drugs.

i've found my fair share of pills around the house. try cabinets in the kitchen, try his socks, search the basement.. areas where he can get his pills quietly and quick. places so obvious you wouldn't even think to look."